Low-hanging fruit

First of all the Lizard would like to apologise for the lack of fresh blogs over the last week. He was on his holidays – at his timeshare on the Isle of Wight.

Now safely back at the bar in The Crisis Lounge – and taking a lead from the previous blog - the Lizard has been conducting an in depth and rigorously researched analysis of jargon in the workplace.

Using a tightly controlled group of no less than three of the regulars at the bar the Lizard can report the findings of this important study.

The survey suggests that management gobbledygook and work place jargon are baffling people and getting in the way of clear understanding – the Lizard would go so far to say that phrases such as ‘brain dump’ (how ugly is that?) and ‘blue-sky thinking’ are giving people the ‘right old hump’.

About a third of those questioned – all right his name’s Gerald - said they felt inadequate when they didn’t have a clue what old so-and-so was on about.

So as a public service to all Crisis Lounge personnel here’s the Lizard’s handy, but in no way complete, guide.

Yer what? A guide to workplace jargon
• Blue-sky thinking: Idealistic or visionary ideas
• Get our ducks in a row: Have arrangements efficiently ordered
• Brain dump: To tell everything you know about a particular topic
• Let's circle back: A follow up meeting or ‘I’ll get back to you’
• Escalate: Tell somebody important that something bad is going to happen
• Painpoint: A challenge
• Goat rodeo: A complete disaster
• A herd of cats: Another complete disaster
• Lipstick on a pig: Reworking of ‘Silk purse from a sow’s ear’
• Drilling down: Getting more detail about a particular issue
• The helicopter view: An overview
• Low-hanging fruit: The easiest targets

And in a complete conversation

Bill: "What are you doing, Jack?"

Jack: "I'm ramping up for the Acme Project. After I download this info, I am going to reach out to London and get some intel on the lay of the land. My fear is that London has no real energy for this, so we may need to all get on the same page and get our ducks in a row. Circle back with me after you've determined if we can really add value to this deliverable. If not it could be a complete and utter goat rodeo."

Send your pet hates to lizard@crisis-solutions.com